When I Doubt

Lately, I have had many reasons to be walking on water, so-to-speak, with respect to my faith. I have seen God move in both my life and the lives of those around me. I have been keeping my eyes on God through the highs of life, through the exciting things that are happening around me. In the midst of those highs, struggles have come. I have been drawn to Jesus because of the storms that swirl around me, and yet, I see Jesus right there beside me and I am not afraid.

This weekend, something different hit me, and I found myself doubting and fearing. This morning, as I read in Matthew 14, I realized what happened from a Spiritual perspective. In Matthew 14, Jesus had constrained his disciples to get into a ship after the feeding of the 5000 people. He sent them away while he sent the multitudes away so that He (Jesus) could go into a mountain to pray. There came up a storm in the night and the ship, on which the disciples were, was tossed by the waves. It was literally the fourth watch of the night… the darkest part of the night… meaning it had been a long, strenuous night for the disciples. During this watch, they saw Jesus walking toward the boat on the sea. At first, they were troubled and they cried out for fear. I find it interesting (although this is not the point of this blog) that it wasn’t the storm that troubled the disciples and made them fear, it was the sight of this figure coming towards them that made them fearful! Jesus spoke and told them to “Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid.” (Matthew 14:27)

Peter then thought he recognized the voice of Jesus and said, “Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.” Jesus told him to come. When Peter came out of the ship, he WALKED ON WATER. This, for me, is like a spiritual high. I believe that I am hearing from the Lord and I want to obey. I am quick to do what I believe he is calling me to do. That happened about a month ago. I believed the Lord called me to something. I prayed for a bit and then felt His confirmation. I moved forward, made plans, and then continued moving forward… walking on water (so-to-speak). But, “when he [Peter] saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid” (v. 30) and he began to sink!

This weekend, something about my plans became difficult. There was a storm thrown into the mix that I did not foresee. In my flesh, I cried out to God. I decided in my fear that I was not going to move forward. I began to sink. I felt fear and anxiety over the situation. I was sinking… because of my doubt. When Peter began to sink, he cried out saying, “Lord, save me.” I was in that place. I knelt at the altar and someone, during our prayer time at church, read 1 Peter 5:6, “Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time.” Humility is simply taking no thought for yourself. That is exactly what I was doing. I was fearful. I was afraid for myself, my emotions, my challenges. I realized then that God had called me to this. He knew waaaayyyy before I did what circumstances were going to surround this calling, even if I didn’t know. He was telling me to do as He calls, not taking any thought for myself. I need to walk in obedience.

Peter cried out while he was sinking. He HAD NOT SANK!! He knew to whom He needed to call out… and he did. Immediately, Jesus stretched forth his hand and caught Peter. His words to Peter spoke so clearly to me this morning, “O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?” (Matthew 14:31) This all happened WHILE Jesus and Peter were STILL ON THE WATER.

Maybe there are things God calls us to. Maybe He calls us while we are on a spiritual high (again, so-to-speak). We are walking in faith, even in the storms of life, and we are feeling brave because we have our eyes on Jesus. But, then, maybe something gets thrown at us that we didn’t expect. Remember, Jesus constrained the disciples to get on the ship. He sat on a mountain praying. He walked on water to the disciples. He KNEW the storm was there! Peter wasn’t sure that he heard the voice of Jesus, but when he was sure, he walked right out onto that water to meet Jesus. Then, for a moment, he looked away and began to sink. He didn’t completely sink… Jesus caught Him. Jesus’s only words to Peter were, “Why did you doubt?”

Oh God, forgive me for doubting. I am so grateful that You didn’t let me sink. You showed me that you have “constrained me” for this time/event. You knew beforehand what storms would come. You simply want me to walk in humility, taking no thought for myself, and follow you. You want to show Yourself strong. You want to be exalted through my humility. Oh God, teach me to keep my eyes clearly focused on you. And, when I doubt, as we all do, thank you that you stretch forth your hand and catch us. Oh God, thank you for your loving kindnesses. In Jesus’s precious and Holy Name I pray, Amen.

Come Away, My Beloved, Rise Up and Come Away, Part 2

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From chapters 1 to 4 of the Song of Solomon, we saw the intimacy that developed between the bride and the groom. We saw their communion because of the groom’s tenderness and protection and love. Even after that time of fellowship with Jesus, that can be so very intimate and special for each of us, we, like the bride in the next section of the Song of Solomon, still tend to want it on our own terms. In Song 5:2-5, the groom comes to seek the bride on his terms and in his timing. He calls to her to open up to him (Song 5:2). But, she provides excuses as she is not ready to meet with him. It is inconvenient timing. She is prepared for doing something else (Song 5:3). As she sees him attempt to get in, without pushing and forcing his way in, but gently attempting to enter (Song 5:4), the bride is moved. Her heart longs to meet with him. It is taking her some time to overcome what she had planned, but she is stirred (Song 5:5).

However, she is too late (Song 5:6). The groom went about his business. He is a gentleman. God will never push his way into our lives. He will make an offer and then wait. Jesus stated in Revelation 3:20, “Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.” He goes on in Revelation 3:21 to say, “To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne.” This is an invitation. We are invited into the heavenlies, but we have to open the door!

In the next part of the Song of Solomon, the bride goes searching for the groom. She is almost desperate at this point. This is what really spoke to me this morning in my reading of the Song of Solomon. The bride goes around asking people where she can find her groom. She tells them that she is love sick (Song 5:7-8). The people ask her, “What makes your groom so different and special?” (Song 5:9) She gives his physical characteristics, but also tells how sweet he is. She calls him her beloved AND her friend. (Song 5:10-16) She continues searching for him. She has impressed the others so much that they, too, want to find this groom. They also want to seek him. (Song 6:1)

It is interesting at this point because the bride KNOWS where to find the groom. She had to stop and realize it. She knows Him. She knows His ways. She answers these others in Song 6:2. He is feeding and collecting others. She was called a lily in Song 2:2 and now he is collecting the lilies (Song 6:2). Jesus doesn’t just want a relationship with only one person. He came to the earth for ALL. We are all lilies among the thorns (Song 2:2) that Jesus wants to collect… to have that personal relationship with. This doesn’t deter the bride one bit. She knows her place, that she is still special (Song 6:3). She knows that his love for her does not diminish. The groom even tells her so once SHE RETURNS TO HIM!! (Song 6:4-7:9). After the groom speaks, the bride reflects… she is his! (Song 7:10)

Now that the bride is sure of her place with the groom, her desires seem to change. She is the one calling him to go forth into the fields and to check the fruit. Her desires have lined up with his desires. (Song 7:10-13) She is so excited about him that she wants to share him with her family (Song 8:1-4… at least this is how I see it). The groom wants the bride to set him as a seal upon her heart. This is analogous to the Holy Spirit sealing us for Him. She is his. Even though her mother brought her up (Song 8:5), he is now taking her and sealing her with his love (Song 8:6-7).

Finally, the bride is concerned for others… for her sister. (Song 8:8) She wants to know how to protect her and bring her into this type of love. The groom says that they will protect her in any way that is needed. If she is a wall, (strong and firm in her character) he will give her a palace of silver. If she is a door, and seems to not be strong enough to handle things that come at her with discernment, he will enclose her to protect her (Song 8:9). I just love how God knows each one of us and has a plan for each of us to protect us and to build us up.

In the end of the Song of Solomon, the bride once again speaks. She wants to be sure that everyone produces fruit from what is given to them. She realizes that she is a steward of what the groom has given to her. She tells the others to listen to the groom and then, she asks the groom to make her hear his voice too (Song 8:13). She wants the groom to hurry about his business. She isn’t jealous, but delights to see that he is doing a work. (Song 8:14)

The Lord spoke to me through this Song. I often am very busy and forget to put my beloved first. He calls me to come away with him. He desires that we spend time with him, that we make him the priority in our lives. It isn’t because he is selfish. It is because he wants to bless us and shower us with his love. This love does not make us jealous. Instead, it makes us want to share with others. Even when I get wrapped up in life and too busy to make time to spend with Jesus, I still want to tell others about him. Just like this bride, I want to go about making him known so that, they too, will desire him. I want that they hear his voice too. This is a love that far surpasses any love that can be gained here on earth. Marriage here on earth is just an analogy for Christ and the church. Christ and the church is a mystery which far surpasses any earthly marriage. Oh that I could share this love of Jesus with others. That is my heart’s desire. It is worth it. I am not afraid that my relationship with Jesus will be any less if it is shared. Rather, it is enhanced. This love of Jesus, if you don’t know it, is worth more than life itself. If you have never experience that intimacy with Jesus Christ and our Father, ask God to draw you close. He is calling to you… “Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away.”

Come Away, My Beloved, Rise Up and Come Away, Part 1

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The title for this Blog was a song that the Lord gave me many years ago when I did a ladies’ retreat teaching through the Song of Solomon. In my daily Bible reading plan, I am once again reading the Song of Solomon. I was reminded once again of the fact that we all need to spend some time alone with our Lord and allow Him to minister to our hearts AS we minister to His!! I would like to share my impression of the Song of Solomon and what the Lord teaches me through it. (As a disclaimer, I am no theologian. This is not meant to be doctrinal. It is simply what I gain from reading this book and how the Lord speaks to me.)

As an overview, the Song of Solomon begins with a couple preparing for marriage. The king is preparing to bring his bride to him. In the meantime, the bride doubts her worth. She sees that her bridegroom is worthy… she is excited to be with him (Song of Solomon… now to be abbreviated Song… 1:2-4). However, as she muses on him and his goodness, she thinks about her unworthiness (Song 1:5-6). Still, she wants to see him (Song 1:7) and she asks where she can find him so that she may know where he goes and to where he spends his time (Song 1:8). The groom sees this bride as worthy, even comparing her to many others (Song 1:9), and she realizes too, that he is set apart (Song 1:13) and that he truly is preparing protection for her (Song 1:16-17). Finally, the two are enjoying each others’ company.

In the next section, the bride is being sought by the groom. The groom calls to her (Song 2:10), “Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away.” He wants her to spend time with him… just as our heavenly Father wants to spend time with us, with me! He calls her again in Song 2:13, “Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away.” I have to ask myself, “Am I willing to go away with Him? Am I willing to spend that quiet time alone, uninterrupted with Him, following Him where He leads?” He is promising her that she is safe (Song 2:14) in the clefts of the rock. He is promising her entrance to the heavens (as I see it, in Song 2:14… “secret of the stairs”). He wants to see her. Then, he wants to hear her. (Song 2:14) But, he has a warning for her in Song 2:15. Don’t let anything hinder you (take us the little foxes that spoil the vines). This is what so often happens to me. I hear the call. I have the desire. But, busyness and life overtake me and I let the moment slip by. Still, as the bride in Song 2:16, I know that I have a relationship with Jesus and that cannot be taken away. However, also like the bride in Song 2:17, I often find myself (metaphorically, of course), sending Jesus away to other work and not enjoying Him in that moment.

Then, as in Song 3:1, I regret that. I try throughout the day to gain that time back (as the bride does in Song 3:1-2). Eventually, I catch up to Him and then, like the bride, I don’t want to let go. (Song 3:4) Also, like the bride, I share with others about this love that I have found (Song 3:5).

Then, once I have grabbed hold of the time alone with Jesus, I enjoy that fellowship. The Song of Solomon is an intimate book about a man and his wife. The descriptions are intimate. Our time with the Lord is a time of intimacy. We are told in Ephesians that the marriage is a mystery in that it represents Christ and the church. There is a communion that happens that is intimate. I find it so refreshing that for each of us, this intimacy is different. We each have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, but it is the same in that it allows us the freedom to express ourselves and He expresses Himself to us in personal ways.

If you have never read the Song of Solomon, take the time today and read it. It is personal. It is intimate. It shows the love that Christ has for his bride. Let the Lord minister to you through His Word. Look for Part 2 of “Come Away, My Beloved, Rise Up and Come Away” to hear the rest of this sweet love story.

John… The Book, the Man, the Message

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“But these are written, that ye might believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and that believing ye might have life through his name.” (John 20:31)

John was a disciple of the Lord Jesus Christ. Of course, he didn’t know Jesus as all of that when he met him. John, like so many others, was just a regular man doing regular work. He was a fisherman. However, he, like so many other Jews in his time, was looking for the Messiah. It was predicted in Daniel, hundreds of years before, that the Messiah was to come about this time. They were looking for this promised Messiah. In fact, in John 1, it states that Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, went and found his own brother (Simon) and told him that they had found the Messiah, or Christ, as the word Messiah means. So, they were looking for the Messiah.

Unfortunately, the type of Messiah for which they were looking was not who Jesus was. Instead, Jesus gave a different message. We see in the four gospels and the book of Acts that the Jews were not set free from the Roman rule, as they had hoped for. Instead, Jesus preached another message. But, in all of this, what did John, the man, learn.

John was chosen by Jesus as one of the twelve disciples. Why him? Why the twelve and not others? We are not really ever given insight into that except that these men were of little reputation and they were unlearned (had not been to “official” school). Regardless, John came to a point in his life when he called himself “the one whom Jesus loved”. John felt a personal connection with Jesus.

In the beginning of the book of John, and also in the letter of 1 John, we see that John is extremely excited to share about Jesus. He says in John 1:14 “And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth.” He pauses and puts that in parenthesis … as if he is thinking and remembering… and we beheld his glory (long pause….. )… the glory as of the only begotten of the Father. I hear John’s heart, especially after reading 1 John 1:1-4 where John says, “That which was from the beginning (like the very beginning…), which we have heard (amazing teachings… amazing love), which we have seen with our eyes (we took it in… Jesus was there right before us… ), which we have looked upon (fully in our view… so much so that we have firsthand knowledge of it….), and our hands have handled (we touched him!! Really touched him!!), of the Word of life.” (In John 1:1,14, John had already shared that Jesus was that Word of life made flesh.) John goes on in 1 John 1:1-4, “(For the life was manifested (it was made apparent to us… shown to us… physically… shown to us), and we have seen it (you can hear John get more excited as he writes), and bear witness (we are not afraid to tell what we saw… it was real), and shew unto you (John wants us to see too… he wants us to know too…) that eternal life (Jesus gives that eternal life and John has this in the forefront of his words), which was with the Father, and was manifested unto us; (John acknowledges that Jesus came from God… to us… to show himself, to manifest himself)) That which we have seen and heard (John is reiterating this again) declare we unto you (he is telling us… he wants us to know), that ye also may have fellowship with us (that we can walk together in this awesome assembly of others who follow Jesus): and truly our fellowship is with the Father, AND with his Son Jesus Christ. (It isn’t about the man Jesus Christ… it is about God the Father and the Messiah Jesus… the Son of God.) And these things write we unto you, that your joy may be full. John is so excited about sharing Jesus because He loves Jesus… He truly is excited about telling what he personally has experienced.

Have you ever had a life-changing event and you wanted to tell everyone you knew about it. This is how I see John the Apostle. He had sat under Jesus’ teachings for three years. He heard all that Jesus taught and saw all that Jesus did. He watched Jesus die on the cross. He heard in the upper room how Jesus warned them and prayed for them and agonized over them. He saw Jesus’ tenderness in committing his own mother to the care of John. John saw Jesus raised from the dead. He touched Jesus’ hands. He beheld his presence. He heard his voice. He saw him ascend into heaven, where he was told that Jesus sits at the right hand of God the Father and will one day return to take us with him.

Tradition has it that John was boiled in oil and would not die. He was exiled to the island of Patmos where, once again, he encountered Jesus Christ and God speaking directly to him (which he recorded in the book of Revelation). John grew more and more in love with the person of Jesus Christ. And, even though other gospels had been written, he writes about Jesus and tells of his divine nature and, in the end, this is the reason John tells us that he is writing:

“But these are written, that ye might believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and that believing ye might have life through his name.” (John 20:31)